I Want His Neck!
by theAkuRokuFaNaTiC
Summary: Birthday fic for my sister! A humorous look on how Isshin and Masaki met. Please Read and Review! IsshinXMasaski


**A.N.: This is a birthday fic for my older sister, and she requested me to write her a story. I wasn't too thrilled at first, but I love Isshin and Masaki, so...I don't know yet if I'm exactly thrilled with the story, but I tried really hard on it. Oh yeah, this story may seem a little farfetched, but if you want to know where I got some sort of proof for my story, it's at the bottom. Please don't flame me for my proof... Please enjoy and review!**

Isshin absolutely hated missions to the Human World. It wasn't that he was bad at them, it was just that they were such a pain and such a hassle that he usually left it to the younger and lower Shinigami. But as Yamamoto had told him before,"It is your job as the Tenth Squad Captain to fulfill your duties in the Human World..." he would give Isshin and Shunsui both a condemning look,"and not leave the jobs that you don't want to your Squad."

Why had he become a Captain? Was it because the other candidate had nearly blown himself and all the other students at the Academy up using a simple Kidou? Or was it because Shunsui and Jushiro were going to become Captains and he wanted to do the same?

Either way, it was his stupidity that had led him on a meaningless mission here, and he had to "fulfill his duty" and defeat the Hollow...Yeah...that sounded fun. Almost as much fun as watching paint dry.

What was the name of this town again? Karakuro? Karekura? Eh, it didn't matter anyway. Defeat the Hollow, Konso any souls in need, and do some other important Captain stuff, and he might still have time to have sake with Shunsui.

Whatever the name of this town was, it sure was exerting a strange amount of spiritual pressure.

He was normally scolded for being fascinated by items in the Human World, but he just couldn't help it. They were so intricate and primitive. Isshin couldn't help but stop to look into a shop window that was having a sale on bikinis, whatever they were.

"Having fun, pervert?" a female voice called behind him.

"Masaki, please don't start something..."

"Oh, hush up, Ryu..."

Isshin whipped around to see a woman with striking orange hair staring at him. She was quite pretty, he noted. The man next to her appeared to be the same age, with black hair and glasses. He pushed them up on his nose slightly.

"P-pervert?" Isshin repeated, looking back and forth between the two.

"Why else would you be staring at those bikinis?"

Isshin looked back at the shop window. It seemed much less dazzling than before. Apparently it was bad to look at those sort of things. He made a mental note to remind Jushiro later.

"I didn't know that they were-"

"And it's nowhere near Halloween, so what's with the clothes?"

This girl with the bright orange hair was ripping him to shreds! Isshin retracted the 'pretty' comment.

"Well, what's with your hair?"

The boy, who this girl called "Ryu", made a sound of "you-are-so-dead". Isshin looked at the girl again, who now looked livid.

The orange haired girl looked ready to kill. In fact, she kept on making some absurd comment about "I want his neck...!" "Ryu" had to hold her back, but she was quite a match even for her best friend.

"Um...I'm sorry...?"

There was another "you-are-so-dead" sound. The carrot top was not seething.

"How dare you attack my hair and then so casually ask for forgiveness! I want his neck!" she screamed again, lunging to the unlucky Shinigami's neck.

"You sound like one of those old Human World Samarai movies!" Isshin joked, hoping that it would lighten the mood. "Ryu" kept making that noise, and Isshin knew that he stood a better chance of attacking a Menos Grande than this girl. Her temper was slightly refreshing, though.

Her stance was that of someone who was experienced in this before. Her fists were raised in a way that could both attack and defend. Isshin always enjoyed a girl that could hold her own in battle. Then it hit him like a truck.

"How can you even see me?"

"How can I not? You're dressed in a Halloween costume, staring at bikinis, and picking a fight with an innocent girl. How can I _not_ notice you?" her tone was believable. But ordinary humans weren't able to see Shinigami. And how could this "Ryu" see him, too? How was she able to make a hit on such an experienced Shinigami like himself. Well, maybe not the experienced part, but still...

She seemed to have calmed down, for the most part, but Isshin still thought that it was a better idea to stop talking about her hair.

"What is your name, by the way, so that I can properly report you to the police?" she asked in a sickly-sweet voice. Isshin looked surprised by her sudden question.

"Uh, Isshin. Isshin Kurosaki," he told her. "I'm the Captain of the Tenth Division." He didn't expect her to be shocked, but it still made him sound more dignified. "Ryu", however, looked quite surprised.

He pushed up his glasses. "So, you're a Shinigami?" he asked.

"Yeah...how did you-"

"I'm a Quincy. I'm Ryuuken Ishida."

Isshin smiled. "Wow, I thought all of the Quincies were sort of...dead...But this is so cool!" He looked at the girl. "But how can she see spirits?"

"I probably spend too much time with her, but she's been able to see spirits since we were children. I guess she must've just been born with it..."

"I'm Masaki."

Masaki. What a pretty name! Isshin decided to play his ultimate weapon-his lady-killing charm. Well, he could scare women to death, but that wasn't really the point at this current moment. "Listen, Masaki, I know that we kind of got off to a rough start, but how about you and me go on a bit of a date tonight, okay?" he asked with a charming smile.

She glared. "I'm a minor, you pervert."

"A-what?" Isshin was obviously confused. _This girl is going to kill me..._

Her glare turned into a light smile. "And I must confess, I take karate lessons. But just remember that you got beaten by a girl."

"I just want a date..."

She sighed in an exaggerated manner. "Well, if I have to..."

Ryuuken smiled lightly, and walked off, pulling out a book to pretend to occupy himself. Isshin just knew that they would be the best of friends.

"You are going to have to be gentle before we even start thinking about children, though..."

And somewhere, Ryuuken heard a cry of pain, followed by a battle cry of, "I want his neck!"

**A.N.: Okay, well, I'm pretty sure that Isshin is a Captain of some sorts, and I just thought that the Tenth Division was good for him. I figure that he's the same age as Jushiro, Shunsui, and Unohana just because if he were a Captain, none of the younger Captains really cared when they heard Ichigo's last name. But if he were older, he could've done something like getting together with Masaki, and he's, like, and unspeakable Captain, so no one really mentions him. **

**I guess I just thought that Masaki would be good at karate, considering that she made Ichigo take fighting lessons. And I added Ryuuken in there just for a little giggle to myself. And the "I want his neck" is just something that my sister and I thought of.**


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